Step One, Two, Crash
by ShadowSong StarGlaive The Wolf
Summary: Oneshot After a ruined date, Mystique puts it upon herself to teach the Brotherhood boys to dance... and she ends up with trouble and startling revelations!


A/N Heh, this oughta be fun. This is after Rogue left but before Tabby came, so it's sort of after Spykecam or something.

Okay, I know NO dances, so I'm making these up, don't yell at my dance words. :cowers:

Disclaimer: Due to budget problems with this fanfiction, we had to take out the disclaimer.

(Step One Two Crash)

"So... Do you think the townspeople should have paid the Piper his money?" asked Todd as he leafed through the book of poems for English class. "Cause that's just cold, yo, not giving it to him.

"Consider it community service," scoffed Pietro. "Honestly, if the guy has the time to learn to play a flute then he doesn't need the money."

"But they said he'd pay them," argued Todd, "And that should be upheld."

"You know what I think?" called Lance from the kitchen.

"I don't really want to know," cracked Pietro.

"Ha ha," said Lance, "Seriously, the Piper-"

But before he could finish, the door to the house was violently kicked open and a fuming Mystique stormed in.

"I don't believe this!" she screamed. "One man I thought had class- I- ARGHH!" She whipped around and slammed her foot into the wall, leaving a nice big imprint of a boot there. "THE NERVE!"

"Uh, boss lady?" nervously asked Todd. "What-"

She let out an animal scream, and Todd shut up.

"Wow," murmured Fred. "Reminds me of days back at the circus in the monkey cage on Saturdays."

"What happened on Saturdays?" whispered Todd.

"Well, they got some marshmallow spread, tweezers, and a pair of tube socks-" started Fred, but wisely stopped talking when Mystique started too. "And I'll tell you later."

"So there I was, having a perfect evening, and Kerry was the kindest gentleman, until I decided to ask him to dance, which-" she changed her voice to a high falsetto, "I don't know how to dance, Raven! I honestly never tried!" She changed her voice back. "The NERVE to defy me!"

"Did this guy have a death wish?" muttered Pietro, playing with his shoelaces, looking down.

"Imagine, not knowing how to dance! The lack of sophistication- it ASTOUNDS ME!" She growled angrily and punched the wall. "If parents just TAUGHT their children how to have class, then maybe they would-" She stopped and looked at the Brotherhood boys. "Wait."

"Oh no," whimpered Todd.

"Shut up and stand up!" she barked, snapping her fingers. "It probably will fail, but I will attempt to give you all some elegance and style in your…" she searched for a word.

"Hoodlum?" offered Fred.

"Yes!" she said, snapping her fingers again. "In your hoodlum, down, bad-side-of-the-tracks, trashy, no good-"

"We get the picture," muttered Lance, who had come in from the kitchen at the noise.

"Lives!" finished the blue mutant. "Alright, pair up!"

"What!" gasped all the boys in unison.

"What are you, deaf?" she snarled. "Quicksilver, Avalanche, you two. Blob, Toad, you, in a pair!"

Quickly, the boys did as they were told.

"Now, Quicksilver, Toad, you are the girls in this lesson-" started Mystique.

"Aww, crud," groaned Pietro. "This is stupid."

"What was that?" barked Mystique.

"Uh, I feel like Cupid?" offered Pietro quickly.

"Interesting save," smirked Lance.

"Shut it, Rocky," growled the white-locked teen.

"Now, Avalanche, Blob, put your left hand on the girl's waist and right arm ordered Mystique.

"What?" cried Lance. "I am not doing that to Pietro!"

"Just pretend I'm Kitty!" yelled Pietro in exasperation.

"Who?" snapped Mystique.

"Oh, okay," Lance shrugged and put his hands on Pietro's shoulder and waist.

"This is so weird," muttered Pietro. "If I ever become ruler of the world then I will ban ballroom dancing."

"Uh, just pretend I'm some pretty girl, yo," said Todd to Fred. "Cause you don't like any girls. Er, what about that Jean chick?"

"Huh, I'm so over her," scoffed Fred. "Can't take a mean one. Prefer blondes anyway."

"Can we stop this now?" growled Mystique. "Right- girls, put your hands on the boy's shoulders."

Fred tried to put his hands on Todd's shoulders but ending up slamming him into the floor. "Oops! Sorry about that, buddy."

"I'm okay," wheezed Todd from a little hole in the floor.

Lance gently put his hands on Pietro's shoulders, but they slipped off. "Geez, are you anorexic or something?" He kept trying but it slipped off constantly.

"Hey, with my metabolism, it gets hard to gain weight!" said Pietro, defending himself. "Besides, girls like the slim and studly."

"Oh please," retorted Lance. "Muscles are so much more in style!"

"BOYS!" screamed Mystique. "Do I have to come over there!"

"No ma'am," they both said in unison. Lance fixed the problem by putting his hands very close to Pietro's neck.

"You so better not be thinking what I think you're thinking," muttered Pietro.

"You want me to strangle you?"

"IF YOU TWO DON'T KNOCK IT OFF-" bellowed Mystique, but was shocked into silence by the sight of Todd and Fred dancing wonderfully, in spins and pirouettes.

"Whoa," said Lance, surprised. "I did not see that coming."

"Well I can officially say I am impressed," whistled Pietro.

"Uh… Blob, Toad… where did you learn that?" asked Mystique quietly, mesmerized by the graceful movements of the usually klutzy and rough pair of mutants.

"It's this great show called 'Dancing with the Stars," enthused Todd, who was in the process of being dipped by Fred. "And when Pietro and Lance aren't around we practice."

"Really?" said Lance. "Hey, I wouldn't make fun of you or anything. That's pretty cool."

"Come on, Lance, we can beat these two at dancing!" challenged Pietro, and spun around. "Come on!"

With that, the toughest guy in Bayville high and biggest ladies man in the school started dancing like a pair of ballerinas.

Well, ballerinas that tripped, hit walls, sprawled out on the floor, and crashed.

"Toad, Blob, teach those two how to dance," ordered Mystique. "At least some of your have the chance of having some class!"

(End Story)

A/N Heh, that was interesting to write. I was going to have them go to gym class and show off but ah well.

Read and review, dahlings!


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